The Will To Live
by Fiara Ryan
Summary: After Darien is diagnosed with a serious illness, he and Serena must find a way to survive the problems that come with it... That is if he can survive the illness itself. Rating is for language and plot drama.
1. Chapter One

Hello everybody! I don't know what made me think of this story really... I was a little depressed and while I was wallowing in self-pity I thought up this plot. It's going to be pretty long and although I've got the entire thing plotted out from beginning to end in my notebook, I haven't written the actual story.  
  
After finishing my last story, I went through and realized how short my chapters are. So with this story I'm going to try to make the chapters really long and packed with detail. I hate stories that have pointless chapters, so I'll make sure that everything I put in here has a point! I promise!!  
  
The rating on this story is for chapters after this one. This one is really tame... but as the plot goes on, there will be some intense situations... language... drama... I don't really feel like putting a lemon in this, so no lemons... But I do like oranges... Just for fun, I think I'll try to include some citrus fruits into later chapters. Just to lighten the mood. Anybody want to plays see the citrus? If you see a citrus fruit in the chapter... laugh at how much of a dork I am and keep reading! hahaha  
  
All standard disclaimers apply. I own nothing but a few sweaty taekwondo uniforms and a couple cats. There's no point in suing me. I can't even afford to put gas in my car.  
  
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The Will To Live Chapter One  
  
The fragile sounds of china being moved about could hardly be heard over the low rumble of a thousand voices that echoed throughout the dining hall. Large doors leading away from the dance floor had been flung open to allow the cool night air to flow in on a delicate breeze and waltz about the room, hardly noticed by the arrogant occupants. Near the head of the room, a portly gentleman in a well-tailored tuxedo stood from the long table situated in front of everybody and worked his way to the nearby podium.  
  
"If everybody could please give me a moment..." He spoke into the microphone, letting his voice drop off quietly from his request. "I'd like to thank all of you for coming out tonight. I'm told that the funds we have raised from tonight alone have outdone those of every other fundraiser we have done." He paused to allow a moment of applause and then he cleared his throat. "Before I allow you wonderful people to finish your meal and dance the rest of the evening away, I would like to take a moment to recognize one of the fine physicians on the staff here at Mountain Breeze Hospital. This man came to us, almost six years ago, fresh out of medical school. Although we tend to be wary of new doctors, his credentials are impossible to ignore. He graduated at the top of his class at Harvard, tied only by his best friend, who is also a part of our staff. If you ask them, you'll always get a different story on which helped the other through classes.  
  
"Of course, we aren't here to talk all night about college life. In addition to being a very smart and studious man, over the past six years, he has proven to be one of the best doctors I have ever had the pleasure of working with. His quick thinking has saved countless lives that lay in his hands at the operating table, his incredible bedside manner has never left a patient wanting, and his good looks don't hurt. But above all, he has the most charming wife I have ever encountered. And as they say, behind every great man, is an even greater woman. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado and without any more ramblings from myself, may I present to you this year's recipient for the award for service above and beyond the call of duty, Dr. Darien Shields! Please join me in a round of congratulatory applause!"  
  
Thunderous applause broke out through the entire banquet hall as every face gazed upon the blushing man who sat at the head table with his petite wife. The pride for her husband written on the blonde woman's face was apparent to all who looked upon her.  
  
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"I can't believe it!" A squeal echoed down the hallway of the dark apartment building. Serena Shields waited for her husband to unlock their humble home before she unceremoniously threw herself into his arms. "Don't take me wrong, Love, I always knew you were great, but I can't believe you won this award so early on in your career!"  
  
Darien grinned boyishly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh ye of little faith!" He teased.  
  
"You dork!" She slapped his arm playfully. "You know I've always had faith in you. I'm so proud! This calls for a little private celebration!" She scurried into the kitchen and attempted to grab one of the bottles of wine high above her head. Just as she managed to wrap her fingers around the neck of the bottle, Darien swooped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her diminutive waist. In her surprise, she lost her balance and accidentally swung the container into his face.  
  
"Oh my God!" She exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, Sweetie! I didn't mean to hit you!"  
  
Darien smirked at her. "Sure you didn't. Darn abusive woman..." Just then a small trickle of blood made it's way down from his nose. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and quirked his eyebrow. "Geez..." he muttered. "I didn't think you hit me that hard."  
  
"Let me get you some ice," the small blonde volunteered in attempt to clear her guilty conscience. "Go sit on the couch and I'll bring it out to you."  
  
The young doctor washed the blood away from his face and hands then followed his wife's directions. He sank wearily into the soft cushions of his old couch, reveling in the comfort of home. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep refreshing breath, slightly wincing as the air passed through his tender nose. After a few moments, he felt Serena settle herself onto his lap and press a small ice pack to his face. She slid a glass of wine into one of his hands and pulled his other hand around her waist so that she was cradled in his embrace.  
  
"There." She grinned. "All comfy. But we do have one other problem."  
  
"What's that?" Darien inquired lazily as he downed his flute of wine.  
  
"I have been a horrible wife, and I have injured my faithful and innocent husband. What do you suggest we do to fix this?"  
  
"Burn the horrible witch at the stake!" Darien laughed as he caught Serena's flying hand before it could intersect with the back of his head. He set his empty wineglass and his bag of ice aside and stared lovingly at the woman on his lap. "I know the perfect thing," he murmured, instantly calm.  
  
"And what's that?" Her voice was barely above a whisper; her heart fluttered inside her chest.  
  
"When was the last time we got to spend an evening getting to know each other all over again?"  
  
"Too long ago..."  
  
"Then let remind you how much I love you."  
  
The two stood and began to make their way down the hallway toward the bedroom. Suddenly Serena paused and turned to Darien.  
  
"Hey Darien? Let's play a little game while we're at it. Wanna play doctor?" She squealed and ran as fast as her legs could carry her as he let out an exasperated growl at her joke.  
  
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The hospital was relatively quiet compared to most other days. The emergency room was packed as usual, but for once there were no patients in critical and life-threatening situations. Dr. Darien Shields came down the hallway toward the reception desk at a leisurely pace, allowing his mind to wander during the short break he had between patients.  
  
He smirked, thinking of the pale purple bruise that had appeared around his nose that morning. His beautiful wife... ever the clumsy one. He and Serena had spent most of the previous evening in each other's arms, enjoying every moment they could get together. And, of course, enjoying the other pleasures they could provide to each other. It was so rare that they were able to share and evening... or a moment...  
  
It seemed that the further the two got in their chosen careers, the further apart their lives were from each other. She had chosen to become an architect, and any moment she wasn't at the office she was locked away in her study, mumbling incoherently to herself as she stared at her computer monitor. On the rare occasions she did stumble out of her study early, he was still at the hospital.  
  
It wasn't always like that... They used to spend more time together... They used to make more time for each other... But it seemed that after she lost the baby, it had been so much harder to face the emptiness of home, knowing that the sound of a small child's laughter should have been echoing through the spacious apartment.  
  
Darien felt a shoot of pain twist through his heart, and his breath caught in his throat. After she lost the baby... the baby... it wasn't the first time she had miscarried... But it had been the worst... The first two times, they had hardly had time to get used to the idea she was pregnant before it was all over... but the third time... There had been ultrasound pictures hung on the refrigerator door. They had picked out colors and furniture for the nursery... They had even felt him kick a few times... him... It had been a boy... a wonderful baby boy... They were going to name him after his father. Darien Thomas Shields Junior. To avoid the confusion of father and son sharing the same name, they were going to call him Thomas. Little Tommy...  
  
About four months into the pregnancy, Serena had rushed into the emergency room saying that she had felt Thomas thrashing about wildly and then he had stopped moving completely. After hours of testing and speculating, they found out that little Tommy had had a seizure. And he hadn't survived.  
  
Darien stopped walking altogether. He leaned wearily against the wall, staring at his white sneakers and the dark blue color of his scrubs. He blew his breath out in a huff, causing his dark bangs to ruffle about on his head. A few days later, she had miscarried the small body of their unborn son. After she was finally released from the hospital, Serena had spent a month lying in bed and sobbing her broken heart out into the pillows. They spent every night holding each other, clinging to each other for every bit of strength they could muster to get through each day. And they got through it together. That was a year ago. Now they were too scared to try again... to start a family. Too afraid of going through the same pain... But things were getting better now... and soon everything would be back to normal.  
  
He shook his head and resumed his endless march to the emergency room reception area. Just as he reached the doors and lifted his hand to push his way into his destination, he felt a slight tickled under his nose. He brushed at his face in annoyance, and a slight flash of red caught his attention as he was lowering his hand. Blood. His nose was bleeding again.  
  
"That's not right," he mumbled to himself, turning toward the nearby bathroom to clean himself up. "Noses don't bleed for no reason." He stared into the mirror above the sink. The bleeding had stopped already. Nothing serious. "I've got to stop being so paranoid..."  
  
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Woo hoo!! First chapter finished!! I'm so excited!! I've got great things planned for this story!! I've also got two other stories I'm trying to finish drafting and typing so that I can post them. I'll pretty much update my stories on a reviewing basis. Whichever story gets more reviews, I'll update that one more often. I read someone use the term "Review whore". I thought it was perfect! I'll sell my stories for reviews! Mwahaha!!  
  
While you're reading, go read "Ice Cold Escapades" ( Please! ) and let me know what you think. It's not my greatest work, but it's kind of a fun read! And it's a complete story!!  
  
Feel free to e-mail me for any reason. I like e-mail... It's fun... And please let me know what you think of this story. If you feel the need to tell me that I'm annoying or stupid or anything like that, please send the flaming insults through my e-mail. And while you're at it, please throw some bread in with the flame. I've been craving toast lately and I'm too lazy to go to the store and buy myself some bread. But I do have grape jelly!!  
  
And in closing... Now that I think of it... anybody interested in being my beta- reader? I read my chapters a few times and think they're okay, but I need somebody else to tell me when I'm being boring... Just a thought... for now... These chapters have been read and approved by.... Me!!  
  
Buh-bye for now!!!  
  
~Fiara 


	2. Chapter Two

I am sooooo sorry! Life has just been so hectic, and I completely forgot that I had even posted the first chapter of this story! So when I logged on to see what was up with my account, after months of being away, I couldn't believe that I had left a story just sitting there for so long. And to top it off, I didn't access my e-mail account for more than 30 days, so it got shut down on me. Blah! But now everything is back to normal. My e-mail is fixed and you can all e-mail me now. And here is chapter two of the story. Please enjoy it! I spent a long time pondering exactly how I wanted to go about writing this one... I hope you like it.

Just remember, I don't own these characters... except a couple of them... but they're boring characters... the really cool ones aren't mine. That kinda sucks....

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The Will to Live

Chapter Two

"Please don't! Please don't do it!" The tiny six year-old boy sobbed brokenly into his mother's arms while Darien stood above him with a needle. "I don't want you to poke me!"

Doctor Darien Shields quickly hid the syringe and seated himself in front of the small boy. "I'll make a deal with you, Jack," he stated calmly, "If I do it to myself first, and show you that it doesn't hurt at all, will you let me try it on you?"

Jack shook his head and burrowed further into his mother's arms. Darien sighed, ready to admit defeat, then remembered the bag Serena had shoved into his hands before he had walked out the door that morning. He dismissed himself from the room for a moment and hurried to his office. Returning to the examination room here Jack still huddled in his mother's grasp, Darien quickly produced a framed photo of Serena.

The photo was from her days as a model when she was just beginning college and working to pay her way through her classes. Although it was a little old, she was still dazzling and Jack's eyes lit up when he saw it. "She's pretty," he stated innocently.

"I think so too," Darien agreed. "And guess what, Jack? This pretty lady made me some delicious chocolate chip cookies this morning. Would you like to try one?"

Jack nodded excitedly and held his hand out. Darien smiled, hoping his plan would work. If it didn't... well... he'd think of some other way to draw Jack's blood...

"I don't know, Jack. These cookies mean a lot to me. Let's try to trade. What would you give me for a big, chocolate chip cookie?"

The little boy scoot away from his mother, inching closer and closer to Darien. The remnants of his forgotten tears still stained his cheeks. "What do you want?" He asked with as much skepticism as a six-year old can muster.

"If you let me poke you with the needle, I'll let you have a cookie."

"Do you promise you'll do it first?"

"If you'd like me to, then yes."

"And I get a _whole_ cookie?"

"A whole cookie just for you."

Jack seemed to think for a moment, then nodded his head resolutely. "Okay. Let's do it." He scoot down to the very end of the examination table and watched as Darien slid the needle into his own arm and carefully withdrew a small vial of blood. He then snapped a lid onto the container and wrote his name on a tiny label on the outside.

"See?" Darien set the tiny bottle aside and smiled ad Jack. "It's easy! And I'll even make you another deal. You cover your eyes, and, if you can feel when I poke you, you can take all my cookies."

Jack grinned as if he knew he was about to receive wealth no six year-old had ever dreamed of. He lifted his tiny hands and placed them over his eyes, daring Darien to fulfill his part of the bargain.

Darien quietly grabbed a new needle and slid it into Jack's thigh without a second thought. It only took a moment to get the blood sample he needed, and he was finished before Jack even knew it had begun. He quickly slipped a Band-Aid over the tiny spot, capped off the vial, and tapped Jack on the shoulder.

"I'll call you in a week with the results of the blood test. For now, just keep an eye on him and let me know if any of the symptoms return," Darien addressed the woman sitting near him. He then turned his attention back to his patient. "So how many cookies do I owe you, Jack?" He asked as he wrote out the label to go on the blood sample.

"Aren't you going to poke me first?" Jack quizzed.

"I already did! Are you sure you didn't feel it?"

Jack just stared at the Band-Aid on his leg before looking back at his doctor. "I guess that wasn't so bad." He paused for a moment. "But you still owe me a cookie!"

Darien quickly obliged, pulling the small package of cookies Serena had given him out of a pocket in his white lab coat and handing it to the child. As he escorted them out of the room, Jack froze and looked up at Darien hopefully.

"What could we trade for the pretty lady?" He asked innocently.

A burst of laughter escaped Darien's throat before he could stop it. He just shook his head and continued down the hallway, leading his tiny patient along the way. "You'll have to watch this one," he teased Jack's mother as she and her son went through the exit.

Darien continued down the hallway and entered the blood lab. He set the two blood samples in a small refrigerator, waved to Samantha the lab technician, and walked out without another thought.

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A few days later, Darien stood in his office with a frustrated glare marring his chiseled features. He raked his fingers through his already tousled hair as he gazed at the stacks of paperwork piled on his desk. He knew that it would take him hours to plough through all of it and finally catch up with all of his patients, yet his mind wandered to thoughts of his petite wife who was no doubt just getting home from a long day at work.

A slight smile tugged at the corners of his lips at the thought of Serena. It had been a month since the awards gala. It had been a month since he had last been able to spend an evening holding and loving his wife. Since then, they had shared quick kisses in passing, a few hurried meals, and many phone calls full of loving and longing.

He settled into the comfortable chair behind his desk, heaving a longsuffering sigh as he sank into the plush cushions. Before he could delve into the towering stack of file folders, the door of his office burst open and the blonde form of his best friend strolled in.

"Ah, paperwork," Andrew Fletcher drawled, throwing himself into one of the chairs opposite Darien. "The not so glorified part of being a doctor that neither of us considered in college."

"Not neither of us, Andrew," Darien corrected as he grabbed a file and set it in front of himself. "I knew we would have loads of paperwork. I just chose to ignore it."

Andrew grinned at his friend. "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I know you've got to get to all of this stuff; we both know I've got my own heap of paperwork waiting for me. I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner. It looks like it'll be a late night for both of us."

"He can't. He's got plans."

The silvery voice drifted in from the doorway, startling Darien and him to drop his paperwork. He hissed at the paper cut that began to swell with blood on his index finger. Ignoring the slight sting, he glanced up at the silhouette behind Andrew.

Serena strolled into the room, swaying her hips slightly. She knew they were watching, and she loved the attention. Her powder blue business suit hugged her curves in all the right places, and the skirt was just long enough to barely be considered professional. Her long legs seemed to go on for miles before ending in a pair of simple high-heeled sandals.

"Andrew," she began, "it's lovely to see you, but I saw Rita in the parking lot. If you don't hurry, she'll be to your office before you. With the way she looked, I think she wanted a little more than an evening chat with her husband."

Andrew's face flushed with excitement as he shot out of his chair. "I've got to go guys. Something's come up. We'll have to reschedule, Darien." He shot out of the office just as quickly as he had appeared, leaving the young couple alone.

Serena closed the door before sauntering over to her husband. "I can't imagine what could have 'come up' so quickly," she teased. "I brought you some dinner. Do you have time?"

"I'll always make time for you," he replied lovingly. "What made you decide to come all the way over here?" He began to remove stacks of paperwork to the floor behind him while Serena began to lay out cartons of fresh Chinese food.

"I thought you could use some company. It's been ages since I last came to see you. I hope it's not a bother."

Darien reached out to caress his wife's hand, but froze when he noticed blood still seeping from the cut on his finger. His eyebrows furrowed. Such a minor cut... still bleeding? "You're never a bother," he replied distractedly, bandaging the offending appendage before turning his attention fully toward Serena. "I've missed seeing you."

Serena's eyes filled with tears, and she stared in her husband's midnight blue eyes. "I've missed you, too." She stepped around his desk and sank into his lap, wrapping her arms around him and huddling in his embrace. "We both knew what we were getting into when we decided our careers in college, but it's been so hard not seeing you."

A lump rose up in Darien's throat at the sight of the tears slowly sliding down his love's face. He pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair, inhaling the intoxicating aroma that could only be described as 'Serena'. He tried to come up with the words to make her tears go away. His heart ached more and more as each drop slid down her perfect cheek.

She sniffed delicately and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry to come in here and cry all over you while you're at work. I meant for us to spend a happy evening together."

"Nothing makes me happier than to hold you in my arms," he murmured, pulling her closer. "I'm so sorry to cause you so much pain..."

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine. We both chose this life. We can survive anything." She paused for a moment. "But I'm going to need your help to survive this. I'm going to need you more than ever..."

Darien straightened and stared into Serena's eyes, searching for the meaning of her words. His heart froze and his breathing came in short bursts as realization dawned on him. His suspicions were confirmed when Serena started weeping quietly.

"I'm pregnant again. I went and saw Amy during my lunch break today. She says I'm already a month along. Everything is fine so far, but she's running some tests on me and the baby and wants to see me every few weeks until we know if I can go full term this time. She said that we shouldn't get our hopes up yet because of our past. Oh, Darien! I can't lose another one! My heart couldn't survive it!"

She spoke so quickly it took Darien a few moments to let it all sink in. By the time he had sorted all of his thoughts, Serena was sobbing brokenly into his scrubs top. "We won't lose this one, Serena," he soothed. "This time, we get to be parents. It feels right this time... like it's our turn..."

The small woman huddled closer to her husband, trying desperately to perceive the calm he seemed to feel. They spent the rest of the evening simply holding each other, trying to draw strength from one another.

Throughout it all, the tiny cut on Darien's finger continued to bleed... completely forgotten...

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And that's chapter two! If you liked it, please let me know! The only reason anybody posts a story is to see what everybody else thinks. So please, let me know what you think. I've already got chapter three half written, but I won't bother posting it if nobody cares. After all, this story is my baby. I spent tons of time researching information to make this plot more.... accurate.

If you plan on flaming it, please throw a couple foil wrapped potatoes in with the flame. Have you ever had flame roasted/baked potatoes? Heavenly! A little sour cream... some chives... I'm a little hungry now!

I'll see you guys next chapter! It'll be out ASAP! Thanks for reading!

Fiara


	3. Chapter Three

Hello, Everybody! I know this took me a while to get out, but not as long as it took me to get Chapter Two out, right? I just have a few comments before we move in to this chapter. If you don't want to read them, then skip ahead! Otherwise, here goes!

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you that have been reviewing. It means more to me than you'll ever know that there are people out there who actually read the stories that I spend so much of my time dreaming up and making real. To my anonymous reviewer with the silly face for a name, thank you for reminding me to make this announcement:

I have spent a lot of time researching for this story. I'm not making this up as I go along. It is carefully drafted into nine chapters that will become increasingly dramatic as the story goes along, and I'll warn you now that I have not actually decided the complete ending of this story (just most of it) and I will guarantee it won't be a happily ever after type thing. The situations in this story are meant to be realistic, and the endings in life aren't always "sweet enough to induce insulin shock." As for having the audacity to write a "sweet and unrealistic ending," I believe that there are happy endings in real life. Let's just wait and see if I believe Darien and Serena should get their happy ending.

And to Lynz: I'm praying for your happy ending. Good luck! Thanks for reading!

Lastly: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of it's characters. I only own the really boring characters in this story that have to be here for plot purposes… On with the show!

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The Will to Live

Chapter Three

Samantha Riley rubbed at her red eyes for what seemed like the millionth time since her lunch break. Exhaustion was threatening to overtake her clouded mind, but she fought it carefully as she stared at her computer screen. The blood lab at Mountain Breeze Hospital was so backed up that she had been stuck working mandatory overtime for the last three weeks. And all of her hard work had finally paid off. She currently sat staring at the last set of blood results that she had needed to run. As soon as she processed this data, she was free to go home and spend some quality time with her pillow.

She stretched her arms up high in the air and gave a hearty yawn, turning her swivel chair to the microscope next to her computer. Her brow furrowed into deep creases with what she saw. She picked up the empty blood vile that she was testing and studied the label.

"Doctor Darien Thomas Shields."

Samantha's heart was pounding. Realization struck her that he must have simply given her the vial for disposal, rather than for testing. It was fairly common for the doctors to have to coerce children into having needles stuck into them. Children responded well to "demonstrations." Doctor Shields must have withdrawn his own blood in an innocent act… Just trying to comfort a child… How ironic.

She ran her fingers through her spiky, auburn hair before grabbing the telephone from the wall behind her. Dialing a number she knew all too well, she waited.

"Mountain Breeze Hospital, how may I direct you?"

Samantha cleared her throat carefully before speaking. She hoped that none of her panic could be heard. "Hey Sue, it's Sam. Can you transfer me to Doctor Fletcher? I have some information on one of his new patients."

"Sure thing, Sweetheart," the elderly nurse replied before placing the young lab technician on hold.

It seemed like hours before the line finally picked up. She could feel the lump rising in her throat, nearly choking her. She could still remember the first time she had met Doctor Shields. He was handsome, clean cut, and fresh out of medical school. And, unfortunately, happily married. At first, she had hated the woman she didn't know, simply for possessing a man so wonderful. Then she had met Serena Shields. Nobody could hate such a smart, successful, and openly loving person…

"Doctor Andrew Fletcher." The voice on the other line sounded weary. Samantha hated to add to the pressure that she knew he was already feeling.

"Hey Andrew, this is Samantha down in the blood lab." She was nearly choking on the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Oh! Hey, Sam. What can I do for you?" He sounded almost cheerful at the sound of a friendly voice. She pitied him…

"I need you to come down here and look at some blood results I just got in. It's _really_ important. Can you come now?"

"I'm on my way."

She hung up the phone without bothering to say goodbye. Who had time for goodbye anymore? Besides, she had more work to do gathering information that she knew Doctor Fletcher would need in order to make a proper diagnosis.

A few small tears slipped down Samantha's cheek without her even realizing it. After knowing Darien and Serena for six years, and seeing the heartaches they had already been through, it didn't seem fair to have one more trial thrown in their faces.

--- --- -—

Darien woke up with a start, wondering what had pulled him from his deep slumber. Just as he was about to dismiss his strange feelings, he felt a dainty pair of lips settle against his forehead and a tiny arm slide around his waist. He smiled slightly and pulled his wife closer to his warm body. She snuggled against him and placed her head on his shoulder. He couldn't help but think they fit together just right. Like puzzle pieces.

"I thought you'd be gone to work by now," he murmured as he stretched and attempted to push his sleep-fogged mind into motion. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great," Serena replied. He could tell she was smiling by the tone of her voice. "I knew today is your day off, so I called in. Now we get to spend the whole day together."

Darien's eyes popped open. A slow grin spread across his handsome face. "Oh really? The whole day? Just the two of us?"

Serena nodded. "What would you like to do first? I could go make us some breakfast if you're hungry."

"Food can wait. I know exactly what I'd like to do first." Darien rolled over and straddled his tiny wife between his kneed. He was thankful he'd only worn his boxers to bed the night before instead of full pajamas. It made thinks so much… easier.

"Only a man could wake up and immediately think of sex," Serena teased, her tone light and breathy as Darien's lips traveled down her neck.

"I'm only human," he responded.

Suddenly he felt Serena freeze under him. "Honey," she began haltingly, "have you been getting some sun lately?"

He sat up and looked at her questioningly. "Only when I go jogging in the morning before work. Why?"

"You're covered in freckles! How adorable!" She smiled and ran her hands over his chest and stomach.

Darien looked down and noticed spots spattered over his whole body, each one no bigger than the head of a pin. "I didn't think I was getting _that_ much sun so early in the morning."

"I think it's cute," Serena gushed, planting small kisses along his chest and shoulders wherever she found a spot. Her ministrations quickly pushed Darien's thoughts from his mind and he dove back down to capture his wife's lips with his own. Freckles or no freckles, he was on a mission.

--- --- ---

The next day, Darien was seated in the black leather chair behind his large oak desk. He stared at his tiny patient that was seated across from him and his patient's mother. Jack was back. They had come rushing in as soon as Darien had called to let them know the blood results were in.

"Well, Mrs. Martin," he began.

"Sheila, please," she interrupted before he could continue.

He glanced up from the papers in front of him and smiled at the woman in front of him. She couldn't be any older than he was. He couldn't even imagine having a child Jack's age. Not to mention a child that had gotten so seriously ill as to spend as much time in the hospital as Jack had.

"Sheila, I've got great news." He shot Jack a grin before continuing. "The blood results show that the infection has completely left your son's system. He's just as healthy as any other kid his age."

Sheila's eyes filled with worry and she grabbed on to her son protectively. "Are you sure, Doctor Shields?" She choked slightly on the lump rising in her throat. "The last doctor we went to said the same thing and it came back a year later."

Darien nodded and continued to study the paperwork. "That doctor was not me. I've looked at the test results from a year ago, I never would have cleared him completely with that information. But it's safe now. He's as healthy as a horse."

A smile spread across Sheila's face and tears of gratitude began to slide down her cheeks. "I told myself that if Jack got completely better this time I'd join the hospital donor list. I figured it was the least I could do after you have helped us so much."

"That's very noble of you," he stated. "The best way to thank a doctor is to make it possible for us to help somebody else. You never know who might need you blood or bone marrow."

The woman nodded quickly and stood from her chair. "We won't take any more of your time. Thank you so much."

Darien stood and rounded his desk, opening his office door and escorting Sheila and Jack back to the reception area. "Have a great day," he stated, watching them walk into the elevator.

He wasted no time settling back in his chair and staring at his now clear desktop. Before he could sink fully into his thoughts, he felt a trickle of blood slide from his nose and splatter onto the shiny desk surface. He angrily grabbed a tissue and shoved it against his face.

Bloody noses for no reason… bruises he couldn't remember getting… freckle-like spots littering his once unblemished body… He could feel his heartbeat speeding up. His mind ran over every word he could remember from all of the textbooks he had read in medical school.

"Darien, we need to talk." Andrew burst into the office, slamming the door behind him. "Sam in the blood lab called me the day before yesterday. She said she accidentally ran your blood results before realizing she was only supposed to dispose of them. I need to explain to you some of the things I've discovered since looking at them.

"What do you mean?" Darien already knew what was going to come out of his best friend's mouth. It seemed like he had known since the first symptom had shown up. If only he hadn't ignored it… now I might be too late…

"Darien… You need to call Serena… I've diagnosed you with—"

"Don't say it!" Darien gasped out, burying his face in his hands. "I already know what's going on. I've been noticing symptoms for over a month. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. But… I already know."

--- --- ---

I'm not really happy with how this chapter turned out… I'll probably come back and revise it once I've finished the whole story. Sorry it is so short, it's just one of those obligatory chapters that we authors have no choice but to put in before we get to the real meat of the story.

Please review and let me know how you think it's going. Flame me if you want! I want real feedback on this thing! But remember! Please throw some marshmallows in with the flame!

Until next chapter!

Fiara Ryan


	4. Chapter Four

Hi everybody! I'm so sorry for how long it has taken me to update this story. I started a new job and it completely took over my life. Things are much better now, and I'm taking the time to start writing again. I'm finishing this story and I'm also working on another story for you. You'll love it, I promise! It's a big change from this one. I keep laughing while I write it! I write in it when I can't handle the drama from this story. Sorry guys, it hasn't even begun to get dark yet… And I'm going to try really hard to make you cry… I've got some time off work, let's see if I can finish the last five chapters of this story before I have to get back to work.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters… I really don't own anything… Sorry…

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The Will to Live

Chapter Four

He knew he had to get out of the car eventually. He'd pulled into the underground parking of the apartment suites almost an hour ago. He knew his wife was several floors above him… completely unsuspecting of what fate was about to slap her in the face with…

Darien finally killed the engine of his truck and unbuckled his seatbelt. There was no way he could put it off any longer. His conversation with Andrew only hours before kept replaying in his head like a demented chant…

_"It seems like you're setting into the advanced stages," Andrews voice kept saying. "We've got to start treatment immediately."_

With a guttural growl, Darien slammed his fist against the wall of the elevator that carried him closer and closer to he moment he had to announce to his wife that life as they knew it was over. Breaking such traumatic news to Serena in her current condition could severely jeopardize the survival of their baby. She couldn't handle losing another one…

As soon as he stepped through the door of their apartment he could tell she was in a great mood. Her shoes and suit coat were thrown haphazardly near the couch and she was singing at the top of her lungs while she pranced about the kitchen.

"Is that you Darien?" Serena peaked her head into the room and grinned. "I have news for you!" She scurried over to him and jumped into his arms, planting several kisses on his upturned lips.

"You must have had a good day," he murmured as he lifted her into his arms and dropped down onto the couch. "Tell me your news."

"TWINS!" She squealed, bouncing up and down with excitement. "Amy says it's twins! She says everything should be okay for now, but I need to be careful and not strain myself at all. But isn't it exciting? Two babies of our very own!"

He tried to smile for her… He tried with every ounce of will power he had to just be happy with this news and let her have her moment… But his resolve crumbled before he knew it. A strangled cry escaped his throat and he buried his face into her neck. His whole body began to shake while he clung feebly to his wife's seemingly fragile frame.

"It's not fair," he whispered against her skin. "Why now? Why ever?"

Serena's wide eyes searched the room helplessly for some clue to Darien's behavior. She had expected him to be shocked by the news of twins… but to not want them? She immediately began to cry with him.

"You don't want to have twins? I thought you wanted children as badly as I do… I thought twins were a blessing to us… a miracle… what if I never conceive again? We still get two…"

Darien choked back another sob and pulled Serena closer, clinging to her like he was clinging to life itself. "No, Love. I want these twins more than anything… But I have my own news for you…"

He led her down the hallway to their bedroom and lay down on the bed. Serena snuggled herself against his muscled form. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. He had always loved her smell… Would the day ever come that he couldn't hold her in his arms? Couldn't enjoy the feeling of her body pressed against him? They had been together so long he couldn't even remember what it felt like to not be loved… But he knew he never wanted her to be alone…

"Serena…" He searched for the right words. He needed to tell her carefully. "Serena, I'm sick."

She rolled over to look him in the eye. A confused expression clouded her featured as she ran her hand up and down his arm soothingly. "What do you mean?"

"It's serious… And we need to talk about it."

She didn't say a word… She froze… Her hand slipped into his, and he could feel her begin to tremble. Her face was brave but her eyes were lost. "I'm listening," she whispered.

When he began to explain the situation to Serena, Darien's conversation with Andrew began to play through his mind like a horrible movie he had seen too many times.

"_I want to get you into induction therapy immediately," Andrew announced when he looked up from the file he had compiled of Darien's medical charts. "We need to start hitting this hard and fast… I would have been worried if I had seen your blood six months ago… now I'm fucking terrified."_

_A sigh escaped Darien's lips. "I only remember the textbook stuff from med school… Andrew, you're the cancer specialist and you're my best friend. I need you to tell me everything you know. Serena is going to have a lot of questions."_

_Andrew nodded thoughtfully, then set all of his paperwork aside and folded his arms. He leaned back in his chair and stared directly into Darien's eyes. "You have Acute Myelogenous Leakemia. You're body is producing too few platelets to really function… You might have noticed a few symptoms. You might have gotten nosebleeds for no reason, bruises you couldn't explain, cuts that wouldn't stop bleeding or heal, or you might have even gotten some spots on your body that look like freckles."_

_Darien's heart pounded harder and harder with each work that his best friend spoke. He had noticed all of those symptoms. And he had ignored each and every one of them. His wish to not be paranoid had become somewhat of a death wish. "What do we need to do?" He tried to sound brave._

_"I'm scheduling you for your first round of chemotherapy within this week. We don't have time to mess around. I'll tweak a few appointments and get you in after hours. You're going to have to lighten your workload. Your body can't stand up to strain while you're fighting something this serious."_

_"And if the chemo doesn't work?"_

_Silence followed his question. Darien could see the near panic floating behind Andrew's eyes. "There are other options. But this is our best shot."_

Serena remained silent while Darien related the details of his sickness. Her breathing was short and shallow, but he could tell she was still completely aware of everything he was saying.

"Andrew is getting me in for the first round of treatment in three days. He says we'll try half a dozen sessions, and go from there. Serena, I'm probably going to get worse before I get any better. And I won't be able to work as much if my body reacts poorly."

"As long as you're still here with me," She choked out after a long silence. "We can get through this. I know we can. We're meant to be together forever."

Tears welled into Darien's eyes at his wife's brave words. "I'm never thought this would happen to me," he whispered. "I never thought we would have to go through this… and I'm so scared. I'm scared for you… for the babies… and I'm so scared of dying…"

Serena burst into tears and huddled closer to her trembling husband. "We're going to be okay. And we're going to have twins. And we're going to raise them together!"

--- --- ---

Time is a cruel thing. Darien carefully removed his scrubs and folded them neatly, placing them on a chair near the window. It seemed as if time had a cruel vendetta against him and had flown by in the blink of an eye merely to drop him at the moment he had been dreading with his entire being. He glanced at himself in the mirror that hung on the door. He couldn't tell just by looking at himself that there was such a serious problem lurking inside. His skin was still tanned to a pale brown that made his blue eyed seem even lighter. His muscles were still clearly defined across his entire body from his arms to his chest… from his stomach down his legs… His eyes still glowed like the sea on the morning after a harsh storm… still as clear as any day… But the spots still stood out on his skin. A spattering of what looked like innocent freckles. Innocent… Like they were mocking him with their mere presence...

A knock at the door tore Darien away from his thoughts. Serena carefully slipped into the room and shut the door. She stared at his boxer-clad form and a pink hue stained her cheeks. She walked over to him and pulled his mouth down to meet hers. She poured all of her love and passion into the kiss as her support for him. When they parted, he knew that, no matter what happened, she would love him forever.

"You should get your hospital gown on before Andy comes in here and makes some comment about us standing around with you in your underwear."

A chuckle drifted over from the doorway and the couple turned to see Andrew standing just inside the entrance. "I was going to ask if I should come back later and hang a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, but we're on a schedule here."

He stepped over to a wall lined with chemicals and instruments. He began grabbing some of the supplies he'd need to begin the process. If only it were just another treatment… just another person…

Darien pulled a hospital gown over his arms and Serena helped him tie it closed. As soon as she finished she slid into his arms and settled her head against his chest. "I'll be here with you for the whole thing," she stated, helping him settle into the bed that would become quite familiar to him for the next few hours. "I'm going to stay with you for everything."

Somehow, Darien knew she wasn't just referring to this one moment… this one treatment… but to everything they knew they would be going through for the next few months.

"I love you," he whispered, grabbing her hand.

"Let's get started," Andrew interrupted.

--- --- ---

Well, there's another chapter for you. It's kinda short…. And it only took me… what… two hours to write? Hahaha That's not so bad. Sorry again for the delay. I won't let it happen again! Five more chapters to go and I'm on a roll now!

Thank you so much to all of you that reviewed. Your wonderful comments keep me going! And an especially big thank you to those of you that kept reviewing even though I hadn't posted in a while. Opening my e-mail and seeing those reviews reminded me that there were people that were actually reading something I cared so much about. And they're great for making me feel guilty for not writing in a while!

Will you guys kill me if I post a chapter for my next story before I post another chapter of this one? Hmm…. Should I risk it? Maybe…

As usual, feel free to flame if you hate it, but please throw some marshmallows in with the flame!

Fiara


	5. Chapter Five

Hello hello! Sorry again for the wait. I have tendonitis in my left wrist and it makes it almost impossible to do anything. I've even missed out on the last two weeks of work. Oh the tragedy! Hahaha Well, here's chapter 5. Better late than never, right? I should have posted it earlier… it's been done for a while… Sorry! It won't happen again! It's getting to the good parts now guys. At least I think they're they good parts… I'll leave that to ya'll to decide.

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The Will to Live

Chapter Five

If only mirrors could lie. True, there are mirrors at carnivals that can deceive you, but they still show some semblance of the truth. They still show the color of your skin. They show your facial expressions. They show if your body is slowly wasting away. No matter how hard Darien Shields wished, the mirror still showed him the side effects of his treatments.

Wish a growl of frustration he tore open the medicine cabinet hidden behind the mirror. He knew. He knew without the mirror that there were dark circles under his eyes that no amount of sleep could cure. He knew that his once full face was becoming shallow and gaunt as any extra weight he might have carried melted away. And he knew it was going to get worse.

He carefully closed the cabinet, not wanting any loud noises to wake his slumbering wife. It had been three weeks since his first chemotherapy. He'd had treatments every week, but that couldn't go on much longer. He could feel his body giving up under the stress. Each movement took three times the energy it should have. Each shift he pulled at the hospital was harder and harder to endure. There was no avoiding the harsh truth that he would eventually have to stop working if he wanted to live.

Darien began raking his comb through the glorious, ebony locks that still clung stubbornly to his scalp. That was one thing he was thankful for. He hadn't lost a single hair in this ordeal. He smirked. A bright spot in all of the darkness. Vanity still reigned supreme.

As soon as the thoughts crossed his mind, he pulled the comb from his head and found a handful of hair stuck in the bristles. Panic seized his chest as he ran his fingers across his scalp. Another fistful of hair relinquished is hold from his head and fell to the tiles at his feet. His breathing quickened into painful gasps. Before he knew it, the bathroom door swung open to reveal Serena standing there in her pink silk nightgown.

"I can tell there's something wrong," she stated simply, her eyes taking in the situation. Her gaze landed on the black hair that littered the bathroom. Without another word she pulled her panicking husband unto a loving embrace. "It's okay, My Love," she soothed. "Hair grows back and it's a small price to pay for your life."

"But it's my hair," he moaned pitifully into her neck. He clung to her small body. "It's part of my look. It's the dark part of my 'tall, dark, and handsome.'"

Serena giggled at his morbid humor. "I still think you're wonderfully sexy. Just stop touching your hair and the rest should stay in for a while. We'll just have to be more careful when you're getting ready everyday."

Darien smiled lovingly. "As usual, you're right. I'll get over it. Now scoot back to bed and let me finish getting ready for work.."

The petite woman gave her husband a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving him to his task. As soon as she knew he had shut the door, she allowed her shoulders to slump forward. Her body began folding in as pain took over in sharp spasms. Her breathing came in short gasps.

"It's just stress," Serena whispered, pulling herself into bed. "I'll be okay… I just need to relax." Another stab of pain lacerated through her abdomen causing her to fold in on herself. "I'll be fine…"

Darien emerged from the bathroom carrying his green scrubs top and brushing the last remnants of his lost hair from his matching pants and his bare chest. He glanced up and froze. "Serena!"

He leapt forward and grabbed onto her trembling form. Her eyes rolled over to look at him. "Tell me what to do," she pleaded, her voice straining. "I can't lose them… I won't survive it…"

Despair. He never knew how quickly it could utterly take over his entire being. Fear. Its icy fingers gripped his heart harder than any pain ever had. Loathing. How could any loving god let a woman so perfect and loving suffer so?

Darien let go of his wife and quickly eased her down onto the bed. He gently massaged her tense form until the spasms wore off. His fingers trembled. "You can't go to work today," he whispered. "You can't go back until your pregnancy is through. You're going to have to stay in bed. I'll call Amy over to come check on you."

Serena nodded. It was inevitable. After all that they had already been through, somehow she knew that their little family of four wouldn't get to be a family of four. And the thought sent her into a round of heartbroken sobs.

--- --- ---

Andrew Fletcher glared at the pile of paperwork looming over him. He knew it represented hours of work. Hours of work meant hours that he would be away from his wife. After seeing what Darien and Serena were going through, he treasured every moment he could spend with Rita. Watching his closest friends going through the hardest trials of their lived made him realize all that he had taken for granted in life. He knew he took it for granted that he woke up every morning feeling wonderful and ready for the day, that he knew he'd be able to have a family with Rita at any time, that he knew they were healthy and would grow old together with no problems. Then again, he didn't know anything. Sure he felt great, but Darien had too. And Rita could have the same problems as Serena. They just didn't know it yet.

Andrew grunted. Nothing was for sure anymore. Nothing would seem worthwhile until he knew that his best friend would be okay. And the only way to make Darien okay would be to work.

He reached into the pile of paperwork on his desk and began reviewing the most recent test results he'd been sent. But before he could truly sink into the realm of concentration he needed to work in, a knock sounded at his door. Darien slipped into the room without waiting for an answer.

"Serena is officially on bed rest," he announced, sinking into a chair across from Andrew. "Amy spent the last week going over everything she could and she decided it would be best if Serena stayed home and didn't do anything. Especially while all of this shit is going on with me."

Andrew nodded. "It's for the best you know. It's better for her to not end up in the hospital."

Silence reigned in the room. An air of discomfort seemed to chok the two men who sat glancing at each other, not knowing what to say next. It was as if they were strangers and didn't know how to act yet.

"Come on, Drew," Darien pleaded. "Don't you do this to me too…"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Andrew lied, not looking his friend in the eye. He started shuffling through some papers in front of him. "I'm not doing anything.

"We've known each other forever. We've been best friends just as long. Don't look at me like I'm just some sick stranger coming through here and dumping my problems at your feet expecting a cure. I can't be just some stranger… this is too personal for me and Serena…"

"Damnit, Darien!" Andrew exploded, leaping up from his chair and pacing behind his desk. "I don't know how else to do it! I don't know how to deal with watching my best friend waste away from the treatments I'm giving him! I've seen it a thousand times, but it was different! This is different! And I don't know how to deal with that!"

"I'm not asking for you to feel like this is just another procedure," Darien murmured calmly. "God knows that if we switched positions I'd be freaking out too. All I'm asking is that you don't push me away. All of the other doctors and nurses are looking at me like some stranger. They're all detaching from me… Like they're getting ready for me to die, and it'll be easier for them if they pretend I'm already gone. But I'm not gone… not yet…"

"I'm sorry… but we've all got to deal with this in our own way. I've got to be careful while I'm treating you. If I get too emotional I could make the wrong call and that could mean your life. I've got to be able to make the calls like I normally would… Please understand, Darien…"

Darien stood up and nodded. He began walking out of the office without another glance at Andrew. He grabbed the doorknob but made no moves to open the door. "I'm leaving now. I spoke with the head surgeons upstairs and we all agreed it would be better for me to be off work until this thing is taken care of. I can't even get through a full shift anymore. And now… with the way everybody is acting… I think it's better that I leave. If I want to live through this, I need to be with people who still believe I'm alive and I'll stay that way. After what you just said… Now I know that Serena is the only person who still truly believes I'll be okay."

With that, Darien left the office as suddenly as he had arrived. Andrew dropped into his chair without taking his eyes from where his best friend has been standing. "We all hope you'll survive," he whispered to himself. "But I don't think even Serena believes you will…"

--- --- ---

I actually had a little more planned for this chapter, but that seemed like a really good place to end it… kind of dramatic… I like that. I hope you do! Please review! It's your reviews that remind me to log on and post more chapters. Without reviews, I'd just forget about my stories and move on to some other hobby.

Thank you soooooo much to everybody that has already left reviews for me and sent me e-mails. You guys are wonderful! And I swear to you that I'll finish this story ASAP. Only four more chapters to go!

I know that there are a bunch of you who are worried about how I'm going to resolve all of this. Well… all I can say is… real life isn't all fairytales and happy endings… and we all need to understand that… But I also understand that people don't read fanfiction to get depressed and face the harsh realities of life. I'll do my best to satisfy everybody. Until then… please review!

As always, flames are welcome, but please remember to throw some marshmallows in with the flame! I love you guys!

Fiara


	6. Chapter Six

I guess I could start this with a super apology for not updating for over a year. So… uhh… I'm so sorry!!!!! Here's chapter six, and as soon as I finish posting it I'll get to work on chapter seven. I've been working a lot lately on another story/novel and it occurred to me that I really had no business working on other projects when I had left this one so woefully unfinished. Nobody likes a cliffhanger! So… throw your tomatoes at me… but I'll keep writing!

I don't own these characters… I made up a couple of them… but none in this chapter.

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The Will to Live

Chapter Six

Darien breathed a sigh of depression as he leaned against the balcony railing outside his apartment. The frosty, late autumn air bit at his skin and caused a pink flush to rise in his cheeks. It had been four months since he had last been able to work. And it had been four months since he stormed out of his best friends office in anger. He had rushed home and buried himself in his wife's arms, hoping she could drown out his fears.

Serena. She was another of his fears. Worry for his own life aside, Darien fretted most about Serena's recent decline in health. Instead of gaining weight as the babies grew, she had lost pound after pound. The healthy glow of motherhood couldn't be seen in her face, and any extended period of movement left her exhausted and gasping in pain.

He turned and looked back inside the apartment just in time to see the object of his thoughts settle into their old and worn sofa. Darien stepped back into the apartment and quickly shut the door to keep the cool air out. A slight smile tugged at the corners of Serena's lips as she reached for her husband and allowed him to lie next to her. His hand drifted down and began to run over the roundness of her stomach.

"I've loved you for so long…" Darien whispered without looking at Serena. "I can't remember a time when I haven't loved you. I don't want to remember a time I've been without you…"

"I promise you'll have me forever," she replied. "And you need to make me the same promise. We've created two small souls with our love. We're going to raise them together."

"We will raise them together. We have to. We'll have these two… Then maybe we can have more after that! We'll create the Shield's clan…"

Serena chuckled. She enjoyed watching her husband stroke her bulging belly, but her heart sank slightly at his words. "No, Darien. This is our last chance. We both know that with the difficulty of this pregnancy, I'm not going to be able to do it again. We'll have to have a clan of four."

Darien sighed, and then looked at Serena. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers for a brief kiss. "Four sounds wonderful. As long as I have you."

"Forever."

--- --- ---

An annoying jingle drifted through the apartment from the bedroom. Darien opened his blurry eyes and glanced around. Darkness filled his vision. He shifted his head and slowly pulled his ailing body into a sitting position, noting that the darkness had been from his face being lost in the golden sea of Serena's hair. He smiled.

The tune continued to resonate in his ears, and he made a quick dash for his cell phone on the nightstand. He glanced at the caller ID and flipped the small device open, holding it to his ear.

"Hey, Andrew," he spoke quietly so as not to disturb Serena's much needed rest. "What's going on? My next appointment isn't until Friday."

Andrew sighed. "I need to talk to you. I've just gotten some more of your tests back. Is it okay if Rita and I bring dinner over to you around five? We can all talk together."

Pain surged through Darien's heart. Their friendship had suffered so much throughout the last few months… Having Andrew and Rita over for dinner was bound to be awkward and miserable… "That sounds great, Andy. I'll let Serena know, and we'll pull out some wine."

He hung up without another word and glanced at the clock. One hour until the face off and counting. He dropped his cell phone back to its original resting place and drifted back to the living room to wake Serena. From that moment it seemed like time's cruel vendetta against Darien came into play and it was only an instant before a knock sounded at the front door.

Serena hobbled over and threw the door open with a smile. "Andy! Rita! I've missed you so much!"

"Serena, you look radiant," Andrew stated, leaning in and giving Serena a quick kiss on the lips. "I can't wait to see those two little terrors."

"You're so rude," Rita hissed, elbowing her husband in the ribs. "Terrors…" She moved past the grinning blonde man and flung her arms around her tiny friend. "I'm so happy to see you again, Angel. It's been too long. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, there are good days and bad days, but at least Darien and I get to be hormonal together."

Rita laughed and moved on to Darien. She stood on the tips of her toes and gave him a quick kiss, trying not to let her body touch his too much. "How are you fairing, Champ?"

Darien choked back his anger at her obvious hesitance in touching him before replying, "I'll be back to work any time now. Just you wait and see."

A quick emotion flashed through Rita's eyes before she could conceal it from him by turning her head to look at Andrew. The blonde man nodded, grabbing a large bag from the floor next to him. The brilliant aroma of Italian food drifted from the contents. Dinner went by in almost complete silence, tension filling the room's occupants more than food. Before long, the dishes were cleared and the tiny group drifted into the living room. Andrew and Rita settled into the couch near the entrance hallway as if wanting to be near the closest exit.

"I can't wait to see how you set up the baby room," Rita enthused. "You've always had such taste for these things!" It was nearly painful to listen to her awkward attempts at idle conversation.

In a bid to lessen the uncomfortable atmosphere and get to the heart of the evenings purpose, Serena shrugged slightly before replying. "We're just trying to make it through all of this. There's still plenty of time to set up the nursery. The twins won't even notice if the room isn't painted when we first put them in there."

Darien cringed. This isn't how these things are supposed to go. He felt like running and shouting out that it wasn't fair their enthusiasm over their new children was being dampened by the fear that those children would be raised by only one parent. How could any deity find it within reason to deprive innocent beings of somebody they desperately needed? He froze. Perhaps that was the point. Did anybody truly need him?

As if answering his thoughts, Serena snuggled closer to him on the small loveseat they were sharing. She turned her face away from their guests and shot him a dazzling smile, knocking his breath from his chest. He knew how much he needed his pixie-like wife. In the same instant he decided that he couldn't tolerate being stuck in the afterlife and having to wait for Serena to join him, Andrew cleared his throat.

"I know these last few months have been…. really bad. And I'll take every bit of blame for that. I still… I just don't know how… I'm… dealing as best as I can."

Darien stiffened. This wasn't what he had expected. In all honesty, he wasn't sure what he had expected as a product of this evening, but an apology certainly hadn't been on his mental menu. At the same time, it was a rather flimsy apology. "We're all dealing," he muttered as the only thought he could coherently force to his lips through his haze.

Andrew grimaced. "That's why we came." He took a deep breath and braced himself like he felt like he was about to dive off a cliff without knowing what was below. "I got your new set of blood tests back. The leukemia seems to be backing off, but I'm worried about your blood cell counts."

He spend the next several minutes outlining the exact details of every test he had run, in many instances using medical jargon that only Darien could understand. It almost seemed better that way. Serena didn't quite seem to grasp the severity of the situation because of her lack of medical knowledge. It seemed cruel to keep her in the dark, but he just pulled her closer to his frail body and buried his nose in her sweet smelling hair.

"I'm recommending a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible." Andrews last statement echoed like a judges sentence of doom through a depressed courtroom. "I've already placed your name on the donors list and the hospital is gathering our options as we speak."

Silence. Darien couldn't get his brain to fully absorb this new obstacle.

"Rita has some time off right now and…"

Rita cut her husband off with a sharp elbow jab to the ribs. She spoke quietly. "I'd like it if you'd let me stay with you for a few days, Serena. Just to help you out while Darien is recovering in the hospital."

Serena's eyes shot up frantically. "He won't be here? It's not an outpatient thing like all of his other treatments?"

Andrew grimaced for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. "No. It's a very painful procedure that will leave him quite week. And I'll need to keep him close so that I can monitor his condition regularly. There's a high risk that his immune system, even as weak as it is, will reject having somebody else's marrow in him and will start to attack him."

"What do you mean 'attack him'?" Serena's heart was pounding uncontrollably. Darien grasped her hand tenderly, stroking her soft fingers in an effort to calm her,

"If his body rejects the transplant…" Andrew closed his eyes and turned his head away from his friends. "His immune system will start to attack every part that seems foreign. His body will start to shut down and die a piece at a time. He could be dead in a matter of weeks or even days."

At the exact moment Andrew completed his statement, Serena's pulse shot up from the already impossibly high rate it was already at. Her breathing came in short shallow gasps while she gagged on the words she was trying to spit our.

"Calm down, Love!" Darien begged, sliding off the loveseat so he could push Serena into a reclining position. He placed on hand on her slender neck and the other on her round abdomen. "Take deep breaths. You need to calm down. This isn't good for the babies. Breath with me."

He pulled her hand onto his chest and took deep breaths, ignoring the pain that seared through his lungs at being so full. It had been so long since he had even tried to breath normally. Normal bodily functions had become so painful so long ago; he couldn't even remember what it was like to be… normal. He shook his head violently, shoving those thoughts out of his mind.

"Please try," he begged, nestling his face next to Serena's. "Just breath with me."

It wasn't working. He could hear Andrew on the phone behind him calling for an ambulance, struggling to keep calm behind him. Rita's quiet sobs seemed to cut through him like a knife. What right did she have to cry?

Tears of anger and despair spilled out of Darien's eyes, soaking the golden strands of his wife's hair. "The babies are in distress," he croaked, his through constricting around his words. "We need to get her to the hospital now or we'll lose all three of them."

Suddenly, Serena went very still as if she had fainted. Before he could figure out what had happened, darkness closed in around Darien's vision. His brain was fighting off the stress his already broken and beaten body couldn't handle anymore. He collapsed on the floor without another sound. Somewhere in the distance he could hear screaming, but he couldn't tell if it was Serena or Rita.

--- --- -—

Feel free to yell at me all you want. I deserve it! I'll post chapter 7 as soon as I get it done. Hopefully tonight! I originally planned for this story to be 9 chapters, but I'm not sure how it will end up now… it might be 8 chapters. I can't find the story outline I had written (that stuff tends to happen when you move across the country and back...) and I don't remember all of what I had planned. But I do remember the important stuff!! So… let's get this story finished!! We're getting really close to the end now.

As always, feel free to send me hate mail, but please remember to throw some marshmallows in with the flames!

Fiara


	7. Chapter Seven

Here is Chapter 7 as promised!! So close to the end now I can almost taste it… mwahaha!!!

I don't own the characters that this story is based on. I do own a few of the side characters… but I'm very willing to share! Enjoy!

Please review!

_--- --- -—_

The Will to Live

Chapter Seven

The first thing Darien was aware of was the awful beeping of a heart monitor. It was an unmistakable sound, almost the same as the music from Jaws or the sound of a shotgun. It was a sound that was so overused in movies, yet so vital to existence. And it was the one thing that he could wrap his hazy mind around to pull himself out of the fog he felt like he had existed in forever. The seconds it took for him to drag his eyes open passed like hours. At first, the blinding white lights above gave the false sense that he was dead, yet no conceivable afterlife could possible so painful or full of heartache.

"You're awake."

Andrew's voice sounded haggard, as if he had aged twenty years in… How long had Darien been out? Hours? Days? Weeks? The time he had been unconscious had passed like the blink of an eye, but considering how long it actually took his throbbing eyes to blink he couldn't base anything on it. He tried to clear his throat in order to assault Andrew with his barrage of questions. Something was there. Panic struck and he began to squirm, gagging on whatever was shoved down his throat. He could feel tape all round his mouth, holding tubes into place. Every muscle he ordered to move stayed stubbornly in place as if to mock his weakness.

"You stopped breathing in the ambulance," Andrew explained grasping his dark-haired friends brittle hand. "The paramedics had to stick a breathing tube in before your lungs could collapse. I'll remove it as soon as I officially go on duty."

Darien focused his attention on calming his heart and fighting his gag reflex. Out of the hundreds of times he had inserted a breathing tube into his patient's esophagus, he had never once thought of how uncomfortable it would be. As soon as he knew he was calm enough, he turned to his best friend. Their eyes locked, and he willed Andrew to realize all of the questions he had floating in a frenzy through his mind.

Andrew seemed to grasp that Darien had questions, yet he wasn't quite sure which ones to answer first. He opened his mouth and let it all come pouring out. "You've been out of it for almost a week. I'm not completely sure what happened, but the best I can figure out is that you went into shock. Your already weakened body couldn't handle the stress of the situation and shut down a piece at a time. There were a few minutes that I didn't think you'd make it for the ambulance to arrive.

"Rita nearly had a panic attack. She thought you and Serena had dropped dead at the same time. She wanted me to tell you that it was very 'Romeo and Juliet' of you guys." He paused to roll his eyes at his wife's inappropriately times joke, then winced at the fact that he had still relayed the message. He froze before continuing. "I have a few things to go over with you… and then I'll bring Serena in here."

Darien felt all of his muscles relax almost instantly. He hadn't even realized he had been utterly tense while waiting for news of his wife. He could feel himself settling and relaxing bit by bit. He was sure Andrew would have mentioned if anything serious had happened.

The blonde physician went on without even noticing the changes in his friend's manner. "I don't know if you care to hear it, but we found a bone marrow donor for you. Her name is Sheila Martin." Darien's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Yes, you treated her son Jack a few months ago. As soon as she found out that you were going to be the recipient she nearly fainted. She keeps going on and on about fate and karma and how you guys must have been meant to meet." Andrew chuckled softly.

"As soon as your vitals stabilize I'm going to order the transplant. Time is of the essence at this point. It should only take a few days."

He reached up to squeeze Darien's shoulder before he silently turned and fled the room. He had left no since as to whether or not he was heading to fetch Serena. Before Darien could begin to sink into depressing speculation, Andrew had returned. Now he was decked out in emerald green scrubs and a white lab coat. Without a word he carefully removed Darien's breathing tube and replaced it with an oxygen line under his nose. As soon as the work was complete, he pulled a chair against his friend's bedside and settled in.

"Before I bring Serena in, I need to warn you." Darien's heartbeat shot up, causing all of the monitors around him to beep and whir at a frantic pace. Andrew reached forward and clasped his hand. "Stay calm. There's too much to go over and we can't afford to lose any more time in your treatment." He paused. "She freaked out in the apartment… right before you both fell unconscious. The babies went into distress. I stayed with her the whole time. I knew you'd want me to. When we finally made it to the E.R. the only choice left was to terminate the pregnancy. She went in for an emergency C-section. She's completely stable now."

"And the babies?" It took all of his strength to force the words through is parched throat and mouth, but Darien was too concerned for his family to be bothered with asking for water.

"They're…. critical but stable."

Andrew's words hung in the air. Darien marveled at how such a simple statement could bring on such mixed emotions. Euphoria at the safety of his family… Terror at the unknown future for his family… Joy at the arrival of his new children… Devastation at the trials his longsuffering wife had gone through without him there to comfort her…

"Congratulations, Daddy." Andrew murmured, his eyes welling with tears. "You have a baby boy and a baby girl. Serena named them Brittany Emma and William Andrew. Odd names if you ask me, but they're your kids." He winked at his awkward attempted at humor. "I couldn't be more excited if they were my own kids!"

He spent the next half hour gushing about the two children. William, or Liam as they all called him, had the most striking ebony hair, exactly like his father's. Some of the children from the pediatrics ward had spotted Brittany and taken a liking to her. Several were unable to pronounce her name and it came out sounding like "Rini". The name had stuck. Even Serena referred to the infant as Rini.

"Her hair is strawberry blonde right now," Andrew mused. "I swear, in the right lighting the kid just looks pink all over! She'll grow out of it though. With Serena as her mother, she's bound to be a heartbreaker."

Darien sat in content silence. It all seemed like a dream. Serena seemed to be doing well. Liam and Rini sounded like the children he had dreamed of since his lonely days at the orphanage when he had longed for a family. Life could have been better, but it certainly could have been much worse.

As if possessed a sadistic nature and couldn't stand the cheerful progression of Darien's thoughts, Andrew adopted a morose tone and continued on. "They still have a long fight ahead of them. Liam's heart isn't nearly as strong as I'd like it to be, and we're having trouble with liquid gathering in his lungs. Rini has an infection that we've been fighting as hard as we can. It'll be a while before we can say for sure how this is all going to go. They're far from being out of the woods at this point."

Darien choked back the panic that threatened to overtake him again. "Can I see Serena now?"

"Of course!"

Andrew scurried out of the room without another word. Darien settled into his lumpy mattress and stared out the door of his room, observing all of the bustling nurses going about their daily routine. Several of them stuck their heads in to greet him before moving on down the hallway. It was comforting somehow to see that he still knew more than half of the staff at the hospital. Things hadn't changed too much. Maybe he wouldn't have a problem getting back to work once he was better.

In the distance he could see a vague blue light flashing against the drab white wall. Code Blue. That was never a good thing. He knew that at that moment, somebody's heart had stopped and an entire specialized team was rushing to that location in a last ditch effort to save that patient. The frailty of life was never more apparent than when one took the time to observe the comings and goings in a major hospital.

"Andy!! Is that Liam?! Andy!!!! What's going on?"

Before Darien knew what he was doing he had lunged out of his bed and landed on his stomach in the doorway to his room. All of the machines and monitors he had been hooked to set off sirens and alarms at the sudden absence of his life signs. He didn't have time to worry about the torn cords and I.V.'s hanging from his body. In that instant, the only thing that mattered was the broken sobbing he could hear somewhere near him. He was so attuned to Serena's voice that her outcry from across the hospital floor and thrown him into action.

He laboriously crawled across the floor of his room, dragging his useless limbs as far as he could. Exhaustion was settling in, blackness was closing back around his muddled mind, and his muscles threatened to give out, but he fought it all off. His head pushed just beyond the doorway, giving him a full view of what was going on. Even from his vantage point on the floor, he could see the drama unfolding.

Serena had been perched in a wheelchair that looked far too large for her tiny frame. In the instant that the alarms had gone off and she had realized it was her son in mortal danger, she had collapsed to the floor in agony. Her broken sobs echoed across the entire floor. Andrew was crouched down, holding her tightly to his chest as if he was trying to keep her from falling into a million devastated pieces.

"They've got him back, Sere!" He was trying desperately to get the message through to Serena's head before any more damage could be done to her already stressed mind. "He's stabile and breathing again. Please calm down."

Andrew lifted Serena from the cold floor, cradling her in his arms before depositing her back in the wheelchair. He wordlessly pushed the chair away from the pediatric ward and on to where he could see the top of Darien's head jutting out from the doorway of his room. He elbowed two large, male nurses as he passed and cocked his head toward Darien's prone figure on the floor. Before Serena could see the position Darien had been in, the nurses had hauled him back to his bed and reconnected him to his monitors.

"How could you leave me like that?"

Serena's almost inaudible question cut through to Darien's heart worse than any scalpel or dagger ever could have. Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled over onto the white pillow beneath his head. He watched he climb up from her wheelchair and let Andrew help her climb onto the bed next to her husband.

"You're never allowed to leave me again," she sobbed, pressing her lips to his forehead. "I can't do this without you. I can't function without you."

Darien smiled weakly, turning his face to bury his nose in Serena's hair. He never got tired of the smell she so uniquely possessed. "I'm so sorry, My Heart. I may not be strong enough for you, but I'm staying for as long as you'll have me."

Andrew leaned over them, uncomfortable at the need to interrupt their private moment. "They've got Liam stabile, but he's taken a turn for the worst. I'm going to go and see what I can do."

The quiet sobs of his two closest friends followed him as he exited the room and pulled the door shut behind him. He felt as if his heart was being torn out of his chest purely for the purpose of being run over by a stamped of horses. Andrew could feel his throat tightening and his eyes burning. Why couldn't life be fair? Why did two people so purely good and caring have to suffer so much?

_--- --- -—_

Three days later, Sheila Martin arrived at the hospital for the bone marrow transplant surgery. With her heart pounding in terror at the prospect of the painful procedure she was about to undergo, she took a deep breath and began to undress. The hospital gown she slipped on over her underwear was as unflattering as any clothing item could ever be. Sickness and fashion apparently would never go together.

Her heart fluttered nervously when the nurses came and helped her climb into a wheelchair in the hallway. She was pushed down the hallway and into a private hospital suite.

"We're not going to an operating room?" She questioned her nurse nervously.

The kindly, redheaded nurse, whose nametag said Evans, smiled down at her. "Doctor Shields asked to see you before we took you down to the O.R."

Nurse Evans pulled aside a curtain, exposing the single bed that occupied the room. Sheila gasped. The good-looking doctor she remembered from so many months ago no longer existed. Before her lay the shell of a man that at some point had been devastatingly handsome. Sickness had caused his muscles to soften and what little weight he had to melt away. His once thick hair has thinned to wisps of ebony jutting out in various directions. His eyes no longer sparkled with mirth. They stared back at her, glazed over and exhausted. The bags and wrinkles around his eyes gave the misguided perception that he was an elderly man.

She let out a silent sob and reached for his hand. "As soon as the hospital called and I heard you needed help, I was beside myself. After everything you did for my family, this is the least I could do for you."

Darien smiled tiredly. "I just wanted to tell you, before you did any of this, how eternally grateful my wife, my children, and I are to you. I'll owe you until the day I die."

"Which will be a hundred years from now after you've had plenty of time to save more lives and watch your great-grandchildren playing in the yard!" Sheila grinned at Darien. She squeezed his hand and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll expect you and your wonderful family over for dinner once you're feeling better."

Without another word, she grabbed the wheels of her chair and exited the room. Andrew waved at her as they passed in the hallway. "I'll meet you in just a moment, Mrs. Martin!" He called to her.

He entered the room and crossed over to Darien's bed. "This is going to work. I'm going to make it work. I've decided that I refuse to lose and I'm fighting the rest of this battle for you. You just get some rest and concentrate on getting better."

Darien cleared his throat, trying to ignore the burning sensation that signaled he was about to cry. "You're my best friend, Andy. I want you to always know that. No matter what happens."

_--- --- -—_

Not my best chapter, but it's good enough for me. This story really will turn out to be nine segments long. I've got one more chapter to write for you guys, and then an epilogue. I hope you're all still enjoying it! I'd like to remind all of you that this story is dealing with a very realistic and heartbreaking matter. People die from cancer every day. Premature babies are born and die every day. While I understand the need for happy endings, I am trying to keep this as realistic as is in my power. I will do everything I can to satisfy my literary expectations and your every want and need. We'll see how I do! It all comes down next chapter.

Feel free to review. I love reviews! And as always, if you're going to send flames, please throw some marshmallows in with the fire!

Fiara


	8. Chapter Eight

Ahh… Chapter 8. It's time for the conclusion of our plot, my friends. Who lives? Who dies? Now you get to know. Please don't hate me!

As always, I don't own most of these characters. I just borrow them for my own sadistic story lines.

_--- --- -—_

The Will to Live

Chapter Eight

The excruciating pain was almost beyond description. Excruciating was certainly an understatement. Darien could think of nothing worse than the sensation he had felt when Andrew had begun to drill holes into the bones on his hip. Sure, he had had plenty of pain medication, but that only goes so far. He could only lie in bed and wonder if the procedure would have been more comfortable if he had simply allowed them to remove every bone in his body before drilling into it. Yes, that would have been much better…

"I'm so sorry you had do go through this," Serena murmured, pressing her lips to the hollow of Darien's neck right below his ear. She snuggled closer to him on the hospital bed. "Someday, this will all be a terrible memory for our family. But we'll be so much stronger for surviving it."

Darien sighed contentedly. Throughout his entire ordeal, Serena had been the only one to stick with him wholeheartedly. She was the only one who had never feared to touch him thinking that he was either contagious in some way or that he would fall to pieces at the slightest contact. She was the only reason he had even bothered fighting for his life rather than wallowing into the depths of despair and letting life slip away.

"I'll owe God for eternity for letting me spend this lifetime with you in my arms." His voice wavered slightly during his attempt to relay a fraction of the affection he held for his golden fairy.

Serena smiled lovingly. "We're going to spend every lifetime and beyond in each other's arms. And then, when beyond is done, we'll work together to pay God back."

A comfortable silence overtook the room. The two lovers held each other close, enjoying the few moments of peace together. Not wanting to get Serena's hopes up, Darien pondered silently on the small sense of strength he imagined coursing through his body. Somehow, he felt better at that moment than he had in over six months.

Before they could fully enjoy their happy moment, Serena and Darien felt their calm get torn from their grasp in an instant. Andrew had stumbled almost blindly into the doorway and had grabbed onto the wall to support himself. Tears were streaming down his once young and carefree face.

"We lost him," he croaked, sobbing brokenly. He was unable to see his two friends clearly through the fog of his tears. "They did everything they could… but it was already too late. It seemed like we were fighting a losing battle from the beginning… but it was so worth it… We lost Liam."

Never mind. The pain from the bone marrow transplant surgery wasn't even millionth in comparison to the pain that Darien felt now. Serena's desperate yell tore through his heart like innumerable shards of glass. It was as if Fate had decided she wasn't done using the Shields family as a punching bag and had decided to take one most sucker punch. He couldn't breath. Everything in his body had paralyzed. The heart monitor connected to Darien's feeble form was only giving off pathetic blips, hardly signifying that the actual organ was still working. He wished for a short moment that his heart really would stop. Anything to stop feeling this devastation that washed through him.

He clutched Serena to his chest with all of his strength, trying as hard as he could to keep her from falling apart into a thousand tears and washing away from him. Her broken sobs shook them both with their force as they tore painfully from her chest. It took an eternity for him to realize that his own weeping combined with Serena's, their tears combined to form a river of anguish. Somewhere in the distance he could realize that Andrew had left them for their private moment, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

_--- --- -—_

The funeral was lovely. Rita had painstakingly arranged every detail. She had ordered every flower and placed every bow. All of their friends and what little family they had had been present in support. Liam had been placed in a shallow grave next to his brother Tommy while his parents sat by in their wheelchairs, both too weak to do more than lift their heads occasionally.

Serena's grief had overtaken her so entirely that she had been unable to recover any more from her C-section and infection was beginning to attack her. Darien still hadn't been discharged from his transplant surgery. Although he hadn't made any progress, there was hope that he would still recover. Both parents were still officially patients of the hospital, but had been allowed to temporarily leave under the strict supervision of Doctor Andrew Fletcher.

Their friend Lita Kingsley sang softly while other friends one by one tossed red rosebuds onto the small casket. Her words touched the hearts of all that heard it, but no sound could cut through the muting pain that clouded Darien and Serena's hearing.

_--- --- -—_

Three weeks later, Serena and Rini had both been discharged, though they had never left Darien's side. The small family clung together as though life depended on it, not knowing that, in a way, it truly did. Serena's parents stopped by regularly to help as much as they could, but the family was mostly left in solitude. Most people understood their need to grieve and recover together.

Darien sat forward slightly so Serena could fluff his pillow and readjust it. He smiled at her, pulling her face down so he could place a tender kiss on her full lips. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly in reply. She settled back into her chair and pulled Rini closer. The tiny infant was napping peacefully in her carrier.

"My mom said that she can come stay for a few days once we get home. Just to help while we get out new day to day stuff back together."

Darien nodded. This must have been the tenth time Serena had said the exact same sentence. They were trying so hard to recover that it didn't even matter what they said anymore as long as they tried to communicate.

"Be sure to tell her how much I appreciate it," he murmured in reply. "She's been a godsend."

At that moment, Andrew strolled into the room carrying Darien's medical charts. He grabbed a chair from a wall and settled into it where both of his companions could see him. "How are my two favorite friends today?"

Darien rolled his eyes and shot a glare at Andrew. "We're still here and I'm stuck in this bed. How would you be?"

Andrew smiled slightly. "I'd have a sore butt."

Serena coughed as if fighting a chuckle back and glanced at Darien. "Don't egg each other on. We're in a hospital. This is not the place, nor is this the right time."

Darien muttered a string of curses under his breath, contemplating throwing a pillow at his best friends head. The fact that his temper and his sense of humor were intact was a great testament to his health and recovery.

"Well," Andrew started, clearing his throat, "I have a few things to go over with you guys." He paused to make eye contact with the two other room occupants before continuing uninterrupted. "I've gotten the results back from the last round of tests and I have… sort of mixed conclusions. Good news and bad news, essentially."

Serena sucked back a gasp, trying to remain calm.

"I'll start with the good news," Andrew continued, shooting a reassuring smile toward the worried blonde. "You're in remission, Darien."

Darien sat back in shock, blinking stupidly. It seemed like it had been so long that he had been fighting, he never thought he'd actually hear those words. There had been too many setbacks… too many problems… He had, in essence, given up on himself and assumed that the fight was done. He had figured that there was no way Fate was going to give him a chance to try to be happy.

"We still have a few treatments to do, just to make sure everything stays away. Plus, you'll have to be tested regularly to guard from relapse. If, five years from now, you haven't relapsed, then you will be in full remission. This kind of cancer is hard to beat. I'll warn you now that only thirty percent of cases continue on without relapse, but I'm fairly confident in your condition. I honestly think you'll be better."

"What's the bad news?" Serena stared questioningly at Andrew, still not daring to allow herself to hope that they had a bright future ahead of them. She had pulled Rini from the baby carrier and now clutched the slumbering infant to her chest like she was holding on to her own existence.

Andrew grimaced. He leaned forward and shuffled nervously through Darien's medical records. "The therapy we had to do was extremely intense. I basically hit you with everything I could to force you to live through this. There are… consequences… to using this kind of treatment."

"Consequences?" Darien's voice came out as a whisper.

"You're sterile. Rini will be your only child. I'm so sorry…"

Darien breathed a sigh of relief. This was something he could deal with. This was something that almost seemed irrelevant in comparison with all of the other setbacks that could have come forward. They hadn't even planned on having more children due to the difficulties they had already dealt with.

He turned to Serena with a radiant smile. "You're stuck with me," he sobbed through tears of joy.

She threw herself into his arms, trying not to squish Rini between them, but trying to press her whole body to his. "I knew you would never leave me," she whispered.

_--- --- -—_

I had planned to make this chapter longer… but this seemed to be the right place to end it. There will be an epilogue. You all want to know what happens over the next few years, right?

If anybody is curious, the song I imagine Lita singing is called "Stay With Me" by a composer names Michael McLean. It's the song that was sung at the funeral of a person who is very special to me and it has helped me through some very difficult times.

I apologize if there are tons of typing errors in here. I pretty much just type them up and post them. I'll go back someday and fix all of my typing errors… maybe write it all better. Haha

Thank you to all of you wonderful people who have been writing reviews for me. I love you all! It's especially rewarding when I see people who had written some of my favorite stories are leaving reviews about how much they love mine. Warm fuzzies!!

You are all wonderful. I can't wait to hear what you all think of this. Please review!! I live for your comments!!

As always, feel free to flame, but be sure to throw some marshmallows in with the fire. I'm a sugar addict. Haha

Fiara


	9. Epilogue

Before ya'll read this, I want to take one more second to thank all of you wonderful people that have reviewed this story. It was a lot more popular than I ever thought it would be considering how depressing it is. It means a lot to me that so many people have enjoyed reading something I wrote.

_--- --- -—_

The Will to Live

Chapter Nine

Epilogue

The months following Darien's release from the hospital were awkward for the Shields family. Aside from still recovering from the tragic loss of Liam, they were desperately trying to adjust to their new way of life. Rini regularly woke half a dozen times during the night, much to the annoyance of her exhausted parents. It was in the middle of one of these nights that Darien lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and clinging to his restlessly slumbering wife.

He reached his free hand to his head and ran his pale fingers through the bristles of his re-growing hair. It was no longer the striking black color it had been for most of his life. As it grew, it had taken on a powdery grey color that seemed to cling to each of the normally black strands. The difference in color made him appear to be much older than his actual thirty-two years, but no more so than the wrinkles that had taken residence around his eyes and across his forehead. The stress of such a serious illness had left a permanent mark on the once devastatingly handsome man.

A quiet sob from the nearby nursery alerted Darien to the wakeful state of his infant daughter. He carefully slipped out of bed, hoping to secure a few more hours of rest for Serena. He quietly padded across the flush carpet of the hallway and entered Rini's room, scooping her from her crib and clutching her tightly to his chest. She instantly calmed as she settled closer to her father.

"Were you lonely?" Darien's whisper was almost deafening in the silent room. "I can tell you miss your brother sometimes."

Rini's dark eyes stared innocently up toward her father's face. Unable to understand the emotions behind the infants gaze, Darien continued speaking. He knew his words were mostly a comfort to himself. And he knew there was no plausible way such a young child could understand the sentiments pouring from his heart. But he knew that he needed to release his emotions.

"Someday, you'll understand that, although your heart will always ache for him, our family is built on trial and survival. The experiences we've gone through are what have made us as strong as we are. Somewhere, Liam and Tommy are waiting for us to come join them and be a whole family. And all of the other people we've lost along the way are with them, hoping we find them. Hoping we never forget them and never stop loving them… Someday you'll get to see your Grandma and Grandpa Shields… At the same time you get to see your brothers… And before any of us are ready… I'll be with them too. But I'll always save a place for you and your mom."

A choked sob from the doorway alerted Darien to Serena's presence. She crossed the room quickly and wrapped her arms around the two people she loved more than life itself. She took several moments to calm her breathing before looking up at the love of her existence, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"You're not allowed to leave me," she murmured in reply to the gentle words she had overheard. "You made a promise when we got married to stay with me until the end of time."

Darien chuckled, nestling his face into the golden strands of Serena's hair. "If ever there is a time when we're not together, time will have surely ended."

_--- --- -—_

Twenty-Five Years Later

_--- --- -—_

Darien settled his aching body onto the edge of his large bed and eased himself under the blankets. He knew it was still early in the afternoon, but an overwhelming exhaustion had overtaken him during his morning activities.

He had spent the entire morning at the park watching his grandchildren play. Rini had married at the age of twenty, and given birth to two healthy twins boys at the age of twenty-two. The now three-year-old children were an indescribable joy to their doting grandparents. Darien smirked. His relief that Rini had been so easy to raise was barely overshadowed by his amusement at how much trouble her two sons could get into so quickly. He had chased them about the playground before settling onto a bench to hold his loving wife as they watched the continued antics of the two hyperactive toddlers.

He could still hear the adoration in Serena's voice when she turned to him to speak. "Who could have ever known that we'd be so lucky? All of this joy… because we fell in love so long ago. And, amazingly enough, I love you more and more every day."

He had grinned at her and replied, "You're in love with an old man." She elbowed him in the ribs causing him to tighten his arms around her small frame, holding her immobile. "I'm so lucky to have the most beautiful woman in history to hold in my arms every day."

A soft smile had graced Serena's lips before she lifted her chin to kiss him lovingly. They knew no words could ever describe the depth of emotion they held for one another.

As the day had worn on to afternoon, Darien had decided to return to their small home before Serena accompanied Rini and the children for an early dinner. The illness he had survived so many years before had left him weak. He had been able to resume his medical practice, but had retired midway through his forties. His body and heart could no longer handle the stress of a normal life.

He rolled over on the soft bed, clutching Serena's pillow and inhaling her scent. Exhaustion and ache overwhelmed him, pulling him into a restful slumber.

He felt as if he was flying away, soaring over the world before landing on a cloud. His dream seemed so realistic as he glanced about and spotted a cluster of people waiting for him. Their smiles were so welcoming. He took a reluctant step forward, then rushed into the waiting arms of a woman he recognized as his own mother. It was a family reunion. He clutched at the man he recognized as his father, and then embraced the two boys he knew were his sons.

"We've been waiting for you," his mother stated knowingly.

_--- --- -—_

Serena returned home from dinner at dusk. She slipped quietly through the front door of her home, grabbing at light switches as she passed from room to room. She made her way to her bedroom, stopping to smile at the form of her husband on their bed. She noted the content smile across his lips. She crossed the carpet and settled onto the edge of the mattress, reaching her hand forward to brush his silky hair away from his forehead.

Serena pulled her hand away with a sharp gasp. His skin was cold as ice. In the moment it took her to grab for the phone on her bed stand, she noted to things. His heart had given out… and time had stopped forever.

_--- --- -—_

I feel like such a bad person for leaving it there… but that's the way I have always intended to write this. It seems… right. Don't think I'm heartless! I cried the whole time I wrote his death scene! I know I'm going to get tons of hate mail for this…

Please feel free to review, and my inbox is always open to e-mails from you wonderful people. I promise I'll reply to you if you have any questions. And of course, flames are welcome. I won't even ask you to throw some sweet little marshmallows in with the fire… I deserve it.

Thank you again to everybody who has taken the time to read this story. I feel very loved by all of you. Let me know if you want me to keep writing more stories for you… I don't think I can handle writing anything this heavy and dark again… I'm sorely tempted to write an overbearingly sweet fic just to balance this one out… Eek!

For now… I bid you all farewell. This is the end of the story.

Fiara


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